Have you ever demanded that a child say they’re sorry immediately after they’ve done or said something aggressive to you or someone else? Most of us have. But did you know that when you do this, that in a sense you’re teaching the child to lie. That’s because in those…
In almost every workshop I do, whether with parents, childcare providers or teachers, the desire is expressed for the children in their life to cooperate. However, when adults refer to wanting children to cooperate, they often mean that they want the child to be compliant. But the meanings of cooperation…
Do you parent by default? By that I mean do you use the same parenting and discipline methods that your own parents did? Many, if not most parents do. That’s because they’ve never really thought it through as to whether this is the best way to parent or not. It…
Despite all the research that points to the necessity of a more positive response to children’s challenging behaviour, punishment is still the common “go to” for many adults in response to that challenging behaviour. But what do children learn from punishment? Do they learn to do better next time? Do…
Dr. Jane Nelsen, parenting expert and author of the bestselling Positive Discipline series outlines the Five Criteria for Positive And Effective Discipline. Jane will be speaking at the Positive Discipline Conference in Calgary on October 25 & 26. At the conference Dr. Nelsen will be delivering a keynote on: “The…
It all began with a marshmallow. Yes, a marshmallow. In the following video, hear Dr. Stuart Shanker explain the crucial role self-regulation plays in a child’s present and future success and how a marshmallow was involved in the discovery of this important information! Dr. Shanker will be speaking on the…
Between the ages of 1 and 3, children start their journey towards independence and personal power. This is a normal and healthy stage in their development. While children require a great deal of guidance, it’s important to respect and support this increasing need for independence and personal power. When children…
Practicing power “with” children vs. power “over” children can be more of a shift in thinking for adults than actually giving up punishment. We often think it is more about what we do “to” children to make them change their ways (the power over thing again)! To recap Steps 1…
The most effective way to influence behaviour is through encouragement. To clarify, however, encouragement is not about being permissive or letting children “get away” with things. Sometimes encouragement has to come in the form of being firm with children. Children need structure and they need limits. Without them, they…
What’s your Style? As part of my work, I am constantly looking for books and resources that will enhance my knowledge in the area of child development, parenting, etc. Over the holidays, one of the books I read was Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. This is definitely…