4. Never compare children to each other. Each child is a different, unique person and should be valued and belong just the way he or she is.
5. Spend special time with each child alone, reminding each one of his or her uniqueness.
6. Watch out for having unrealistically high expectations for your children and making it appear that your love is conditional on their performance or behaviour.
7. Avoid any kind of name calling or labelling – ie. never call your child lazy, irresponsible or use any other form of disrespectful put down. Focus on solutions instead of blame.
8. Be sensitive to situations where your children are being put down by siblings, classmates, friends or any other people in their life. Help them realize that disrespectful behaviour exhibited by others has more to do with the problems of the individual dishing it out and little or nothing to do with your child.
Ultimately, healthy self esteem enables children to go out into the world confident that they can face adversity, solve problems and make a contribution. It does not come from gold stars and rewards but emerges from experiences, both positive and negative, through which they gain wisdom and learn that they are capable, significant people.